Because of Anxiety

Because of Anxiety

Many people feel in the dark

Some people are in jail

Because of Anxiety

Everyone has trust issues

Most don't
Because of Anxiety

The littlest of thing may not get people worked up

Many people with anxiety get panic attacks over the littlest things

Because of Anxiety

Anxiety has a part of everyone mind

Including mine

Because of Anxiety

When I hear the word modified..

So sometimes I get a modified  test, homework and projects. Which I know is the best thing for me because, my hand writing is bad.  Like some of my teachers can't read it.

Last year I took Geometry which was not a bad class, but a lot of writing.  Math is always a lot of hand writing, But Geometry you got to write proofs Which sometimes can be long. I sometimes got modified homework witch was awesome. Good thing I had a associate/teacher in that class or I would be in the hole. 

When the teachers put essays on test, sometimes I can have two or one exempt from the test. Witch is not a bad thing for me. The main teachers may not care for.

Before, I dropped media teach this year, I was talking to the teacher and the first project, he was going to modify for me because it was going to be hard. I had drop that class because it was getting to hard and the teacher goes to fast for me.

Special Ed

So, a few blogs back I told you all about how I can use notes for test. How did I get into special ed? Well because of cerebral palsy. Now wait, with my condition ant you spouse to be in a room with disabilities? True, but I wouldn't like it. I am in all classes with my peers except for phy-ed.

There are some advantages with being in special ed. I kind of think of my IEP (Individualize Education Plan) as a "Bible". I know for a few test I play the "IEP card" to use notes. Now as I look at it really saved my butt! I do use my IEP for other things as well.  

My special ed teacher  is like a "gift from god." If I have a problem in one of my classes I will talk to her. In ninth grade I was in health. We were watching a video, but we had to fill out a worksheet with the video. So after class I talked to her about what happened. When I got done explaining what happened, she emailed the health teacher to ask if I could re do the worksheet. So he replied back saying that he would exempt me from it. She is so awesome. Sometimes we get on each other's nerves. This will be my last year with her. 

As my 5th grade teacher once said "we are a family as a class." And he is right, each special needs classroom or regular class room, we make up a family. 

Yes I have a associate for my writing! But some day's we can get on each other nerves. I am grateful to have her even on my bad days. Oh get this will be my six year with her! Yup, form 7th grade on. This two will be my last year with her. 

I don't know where I would be know (grade level wise) if there were not special ed in schools! This will be my last year in school before College (I don't know if i will go to College.) 

Before I die

Before I Die by Jenny Downham

Tessa made a list of ten items that she wants to do before she dies of cancer. Number one is sex... Her parents are split up. Will they get back together?? Will she tell the diagnose of her cancer???
Five star review

                      

Out of my mind

out of my mind by:Sharon Draper

One of many books I found on goodreads was out of my mind. When I found it in the library catalog, it looked interesting, but I waited tell I got back from my mini vacation to check it out.

Melody is a girl who can't talk,because of CP, but don't let that fool you inside she has a lot to say. What will melody do when fifth grade she starts moving around to two different classroom other that the special ed room. 

When Melody's one class try's a practice quiz (whiz kids quiz) she dose amazing and better than her classmates. Will she try to do the real quiz?  Will she make the team?

I give this a five star review

Window boy

Window boy By: Andrea White

What would  you do if your mother got Evicted from your apartment? What if you just started school and  know you have  to go to a institution?

Let me tell you a little about Sam Davis. Sam has cerebral palsy, twelve-year old boy and loves basketball. Sam can read and point out letters for a essay if someone can dictate  his sentences, But don't let the word WHEELCHIAR fool you he is a smart cookie.

Sam's nurse (Miss. Perkins) has been with him since little boy. Miss. Perkins does not want him in a  institution. Miss. Perkins has taught him all she knows.

Mrs. Davis (Sam's Mom) does not have a husband, since the couple got a devoice, Sam's mom been rising  him.

Before Sam leaves school he submits a essay about a wartime hero. Will he win?

I give this book  5 stars. 

                                              

I feel so happy to have my last name. ..

As I lay in my bed at home, I am thinking about my vacation up by my dad's side. I miss being up there already. I miss having to talk to my grandma and giving her hugs. Ya, I get to do it all the time at my other grandma. But it is not the same. 

Thursday

The Morning of that day I came home it was about 3:30 A.M. My grandmas bedroom door was shut. I was so nervous about it if she was alive or not. Which I was freaked out about it. I did not hear her snore.Then morning came and she was up! (Sigh of relief) 

My family on my dad's side is amazing. I feel so bless to be apart of this family to know extent would I trade them for the world!!! I am a proud niece, granddaughter and cousin! I don't care about shopping with them I just want to spend the time I have with them. 

what families don't known a glimpse though my eyes

Note: for personal protection I put a letter by the word that is spouse to be a name

So here I am at my dad's side of the family.  I have very kind cousin's and  aunts and uncles on both sides of my families. I feel that it is hard to make a strong relationship with my family because of the way I walk and talk. I know its not my fault because of my disability, but sometimes it is hard for people to except for the way you are.

August

I went to the races with my aunt (Km)and uncle (Jm) and my cousin (M). I am so glad that they took me to see my older cousin (D) race.  It was so cool to see him race, and I was so lucky that I went because it was autograph night! During intermissions all the cars come out. I was waiting to go down there to see him so, he could autograph my sweatshirt. I don't like loud noises do I wear headphones wt the races  don't get me wrong but a lot of people wear headphones. I had a great time with my family that night.  What is scary for me is my balance is not so good sometimes,  like a big crowd. But I take my time ans it does help me or taking someone arm does help in a bigger crowd.

Sunday, I was visiting my Aunt and my cousin (T) at the hospital because she had a baby (L)  her husband (A) , my cousin by marriage, and I went down to the vending machines to get lunch.  Even tho A is very quiet,  I would think he is a little nervous about me. I can't blame him for that because I just meet him five days ago.

My point of this blog post is even though people have a disability don't mean that they shouldn't be rejected out of there family. I know that, some people are afraid  to say that they are related  to someone with a disability but, you have to just deal with it.
                                                        

Test.. Wait you can use notes?.... and you still get a C or lower?

Most special needs students can use notes for test and quizzes. So most people think ok it's easy to use notes for tests & quizzes. But in realty it's twice as hard for me. I get bad anxiety form test. With my notes and book it is even harder. Why because my brain is damaged from lack of oxygen at birth. I do occasionally study but, I can't get my head to remember stuff I study. Most bigger test I get a C+ or lower.

Easy stuff like a 20 word vocabulary test I can get done in a whole class period. Bigger test like a week if I have trouble with homework.The teachers are kind of supportive with me, but some teachers are not. My associate can get on my case at times (which i do not like) but it is for a good reason.    

When the teacher is talking I Listen to  him/her. Sometimes  I would love to be taking notes while the teacher is talking but when it comes back to test I hardly can read my own writing. That is another reason  why it's so hard to take test some of my notes are taking me.  Most of my notes are copy or by a associate. 

It's time to get a test back in science class, what did I get a F on a whole test! I do not know if I'm studying hard enuf for any kind of test or for that matter my notes?
                                                                      

Months and days, Tell I met John W. Quinn

November 2013~ As the days pass by to November 25, I had no idea that someone like one of my friends and my classmate could get someone to come to Southern Door. When I walked into the auditorium that Monday the 25, I was shocked that Tony Schumacher was there because of a student. Mr. Schumacher is a dag race car driver.

After School, I was riding the bus and I saw this post from a John Quinn he had a video linked to it . I watched it and said to my self "I what to bring him to school". Two days after Mr. Schumacher came, I facebook message the person that got Mr. Schumacher to come. In asked a lot of questions about how to get to talk to the principle. So I asked John though his official Facebook page about getting him to be able to come to school. John  told me that, I should show the website or his book (which I did not have at this time) 

December 2013~ So I was going to a temp talking with the principle. The next Monday, after Mr. Schumacher came, I wanted to tell my Special Education teacher for help. She said I should email. The principle. I did with a little guidance from my teacher. My principle e-mailed me back and told me to  go talk to the office secretary to make  a appointment . The next day I made the appointment. So there I was in the principal's office, nervous like a dog during a thunderstorm, I did not know about what the principle would say. In my mind thoughts where going though as bad. The appointment turned out to be good! My one friend got me a iTunes gift card for Christmas. I got the book, that John wrote, recording on my iPod touch and within two whole days I finished the book. I could relate to the book a lot.

January 2014~ So a new year hopefully I would meet John W. Quinn! The principle and myself set up a phone conference for the 15th. The night before the 15 there was a bad snow storm. The morning of the 15, I woke up the news was on there in huge letters was Southern Door is Canceled! Which most kids want a snow day, but I had a important phone call that day. After three whole days of waiting, it was time to finally have the phone conference!!!  For the first time he was hearing my voice!!

February 2014~ February 2nd is the night when my principle emailed me the grant and told me he was coming on the 28th. I was so excited as writing this post now. All the days where fling by so fast for me. In Choir class I had a solo for our concert we did the song BRAVE by Sara Bareilles. my part was "Don't run. stop holding your tongue" Before that we did a Pass the hat for Cerebral palsy. We raised over $300.00 dollars. I hope we do it next year!

 Every chance I got that Thursday the 27th I was looking at all the airports. I wanted no delays or cancellations. We where talking about weather in psychology class, the weather was spouse to below the average of February, I said to the teacher we must have school. Before I was getting ready to pack up The Pupil Services Director  came to see how I was holding up before the big day. I was so worried about John's flight that tell he was safely in his hotel. The day I been waiting for was finally here! I wore a White Top, black pants, a necklace and Dressy shoes. I went to school, everybody was like "Did you get sleep last night". Which thankfully I did. Then I went to put my books down in Art, then I went by the Special Education classroom to wait. My Leg was going a mile a minute. The associate and I went to the office to meet Mr.Quinn. When he walked in I could not stop in joying it. Then we went into the principal office there he gave me a copy of his book!
 
So went back to Art and English class, Then back to John to give him a tour of our school. Boy, My legs were popped but I didn't care.  As the day went by Lunch was amazing because, I got to eat with John and gave something back to John. A goodie bag filled with Cheese,Cheese, sausage, a magnet, a can cooler and coffee.

 We did "Brave" again for John.I introduce Mr.John W. Quinn! It was time to here is speech along with the whole high school 
.   
After I found out that the Grant was pass.As the day winds down to a end I had to say goodbye to John. My associate gave me a ride in a wheelchair, so I could not miss the bus. When I went home I asked my mom "Will I ever meet John agian??" That sentence is still up in the air..

What do you mean I have a different disability.

When i was in 6th grade of 2008, Mom took me to a specialist to see if i had this disability. When I was born, they thought I had Mitochondrial disorder. Which the way mom tells people is that with this disorder if baby's make a year old that they will live. How does my mom know this? My older sister had this. She did not make it to a year. I never knew her.
So when Mom and I went to green bay to see a doctor and he had me do a biopsy and a MRI. So two days i was out of school. A month or so,They called my mom to tell her that i have cerebral palsy. How did my mom handle it she cried for a wile and called the local Cerebral Palsy center. 

My dad

The summer of 3rd grade was the horrible for a 7 year old going to be a 8 year old. I went to hospitals with my mom and dad so, my dad could get radiation for his cancer. My last birthday with my dad I honestly don't remember know what we did,. 
The start of 3rd grade was going ok until I went to my grandma's house after school because my dad  was paralyzed from the waist down. Can remember that day so well :\ October  16th i was staying by my Uncle and Aunts house, so me and my cousin where outside picking leaves (or I don't remember) to make a art project. when we came in my aunt told me my dad passed away! My Uncle made a video for the wake. I'm very thank full to have family that have my mom's back when she needed it.

When i turn 18 It will be ten years since my dad passed away! I miss him like Crazy!!! <3